How Zoe Made Her Dreams (Mostly) Come True by Sarah Strohmeyer

Author:Sarah Strohmeyer
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-09-03T04:00:00+00:00

Sixteen

Andy met me in Wardrobe, pacing anxiously while Trish did what she could to transform me, 5′10″ Zoe Kiefer, into a delicate princess, practically sewing me into Adele’s blue-and-white gown and stuffing my size-ten feet into clear plastic slippers. Once that ordeal was over, Helga the cosmetologist plunked me into a chair, yanked my hair into a super-tight ponytail, and proceeded to tweeze my eyebrows into tiny lines that, illogically, she then darkened with pencil.

“Stay still. Don’t talk,” she ordered.

Which was hard, because Andy was grilling me about the basics of Princess 101. Did I know how to wave? Did I know how to smile like a princess, to clasp my hands just so, as if I were a child who’d been surprised with a stack of birthday presents? Had I ever waltzed? Done the box step?

“I have one hour to teach you what took years of summer camp to teach Adele. You’d better be up to the task.” Andy stroked his chin nervously as Helga pressed color into my lips. “She doesn’t even come close to Simone.”

“I’m doing what I can,” she grumbled, applying blush with a big brush. “It’s not like you’ve given me much to work with here.”

Thanks. Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence, people. “Yeah, I think I know how to wave.”

Helga pinched my mouth shut. “No talking! Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes.

Andy continued. “There’s the dance with Prince Charming. It’s more complicated than it looks.”

I tried to recall what the dance was like. Lots of turning and waving, bowing and curtsying. Square-dancing with two royal squares.

“Open,” Helga barked. I opened my eyes to the sight of her wielding what appeared to be a living centipede pinched between her fingers.

I let out a scream. “What is that?”

“Eyelashes. Now look up.” I looked up as she pasted the sticky lashes to my lids. “Look down.” I looked down.

Just when I thought this process couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, they produced a heavy yellow-blond wig and two humongous fake diamond earrings that pulled down my earlobes like boulders. I slid off the chair, teetering under the weight of multiple petticoats. Trish stuffed my hands into tight white gloves. Helga fixed my lip gloss. At last, all three of my tormentors stepped back for the assessment.

“Walk!” Andy commanded.

So I walked.

He slapped his forehead. “No, no, no. Not like you’re a construction worker just off from the job. Daintily, like a princess. Show some of that Wow! spirit.”

My toes were killing me. I went up on them slightly, grimaced in pain, and pranced, Wow!™-like.

“That’s better. Now twirl.” He rotated his wrist. I twirled. I twirled so fast that, as I had in the Queen’s office, I fell against the chair, and Trish had to come to my rescue.

“Enough, Andy,” she said. “Take her into training.”

Training was one big room with lots of mirrors and, playing on an eternal loop, the Fairyland theme song, to which I was taught the so-called Fairyland Family Dance. (Think the Hokey Pokey only with more twirling and kissing.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.